Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009
Well I don’t know about you but I’ve been busy. Yeah yeah I say that every time. I think instead of hello from now on I’m just going to say “Oh y’know I’ve been busy..”
You’re probably wondering “with what?” and it’s the normal blah blah work, work, kid, stuff that fills up all your time but you can’t remember what it is stuff, and then a couple of other things. And one of them? You’ll never guess what I’ve been doing…
Well it all started a little while back when I took Nate to the library. Well actually it started before that but then I had to go to the library because of the thing I’ve been doing lately.
Reading.
Alot. No really, a ton. It’s like this weird obsession, I have no idea where it came from but I haven’t watched tv in weeks. Weird huh?
Oh I know, you all read, dozens and dozens of books all the time. And that’s why I like you, you’re so cosmopolitan and well read. The last couple of years my reading has been solely of the non-fiction sort. Yes non-fiction. People, haven’t you guessed by now how much of a nerd I am? Apparently not. So a month or so back, after Ben nagged me for the umpteenth time that I ought to cut out my insty weensy paltry one hour of television viewing per evening (Ben hates tv. He thinks it rots the mind. Even if I’m watching the History Channel. You see what I have to deal with? Gah.) I picked up a book a friend had lent me and gave fiction another try.
Wow.
Fiction is fun.
(You guys: No duh)
So I tore through that and then a couple of other books, reread my favorite book* for the millionth time then had to venture to the library for MORE. Oh and I let Nate borrow a few books from the library also since he’s a total book connoisseur (and tyrant, demanding new books all the time). I figured why buy when you can borrow? He promptly ripped a page from one of the books necessitating the “Responsibility of a Borrower” lecture. And some mad taping skills from me.
Tiniest rant here - our library sucks. No polite way to say it, it is pathetic. Los Angeles just built the damn thing not three years ago and it is a ridiculously beautiful and also BARREN building filled with shiny new computers which were all filled with teens social networking and online dating. The books, you ask? Hardly a book in the place. Seriously the fiction section was one wall with bookshelves half my size (I’m NOT TALL) that were half filled with books. Weakest selection ever. Seriously it was practically all Tom Clancy and Barbara Kingsolver, that’s it. And sorry, but I’m not a fan. I found a few books that I wanted to check out in the Young Adult required reading section. WTF Los Angeles, you don’t like books?
So the reading… has been taking up a lot of time. Time when I should maintaining the Skiplovey Household…reading. Time when I normally talk to Ben while he’s cleaning up the kitchen (yes he cleans, isn’t he a dear? I cook, he cleans, it truly is domestic bliss)…reading. I’ve even been clocking out of work early to read (which is easy to do since I work at home, so tempting) Blogging time…. sorry, reading. I know, I know, I need to get this habit under control but then I have no patience and need to know what happens in the next chapter. It’s just like I’m in junior high again with my nose permanently stuck in a book. Fiction, why did I ever forsake you? I think Ben is wishing he didn’t complain about the tv thing, at least that was only one hour a night.
I’ve been catching up on the classics that I somehow missed in college but I’m itching for new fiction too. Any good recommendations (do not mention teenage vampires. not dissing, but done and done ok?) would be most welcome. Currently reading The Virginian by Owen Wister. I’ll probably be done by Thursday so hurry up on the recommendations, thanks!
*Most favorite and brilliant book ever, Franny & Zooey by J.D. Salinger.
Wednesday, May 27th, 2009
I am sick again for the third time in two months and I’d really like to have my tonsils removed or at the very least a LARGE dose of code!ne and I think that little people under three feet tall have the ability to incubate a super strain of germs that they unwittingly pass along to their caretakers while not falling prey to the illness. And yes, I am comforted in a way not to have this death sentence passed on to other members of my family but SERIOUSLY, this is just straight b.s. to be sick again and lo, I haven’t been sick so many times since I myself was a smallish child. Honestly, I’m waiting for a top secret report to come out detailing the link between toddler resistance and hi tech germ warfare. This cold could annihilate small cities.
At this very moment I ought to be working diligently as the babysitter has whisked my carrier of germs away to the park to play but all I can do in my weakened state is mouth breath (which is bleaaaaahhh and gross) and stare blankly at the screen waiting for the caffeine to hit my brain in the right way.
No luck thus far.
Thursday, May 21st, 2009
There’s a couple of reasons why I just can’t get into Twitter. Mostly I just don’t have the brainwidth capacity for another thing to keep track of. But then I saw this…
http://tweetingtoohard.com/
Have you seen this yet? Ben and I were laughing our fool heads off. Douchebaggery defined.
Tuesday, May 19th, 2009
This is Nate. He is two years old (two yis owd) now. He recently discovered basketball. So very into basketball is this kid. Somewhere (certainly not from his parents) he learned how to throw the ball and make it in the net. Then he learned how to bounce the ball off the backboard before it goes in. He still likes cars and trucks. He likes his 1962 Chevy Impala (CHE-vee Um-palla) best. He still prefers fruit to sweets and turned down his birthday cupcake, “No I don wan cupcate”. He still likes his crib but has taken to throwing himself down on the guest bed and insisting he “sleep hee-ya”. He announced this morning that I am a Mom. M-O-M, not a Mommy.
This is the face of a two year old:
Monday, May 4th, 2009
Reasons to be rich:
1. So I never have to sleep on a futon again.
The end.
Ok aside from the less than fabulous sleeping situation that was in fact quite generous taking into consideration that we had our friend’s guest room all to ourselves in the very rent expensive city of San Francisco, that really is my only complaint. And since we opted to go cost conscious style (el cheapo) and stay with friends rather than booking a hotel I ought not complain. But when has that ever stopped me before?
And whaddya know, I managed to pack decently this time and was actually warm(ish) well actually just not cold. I brought my winter coat (hello San Francisco, it’s May. Did you get that memo?) and ended it wearing it pretty much the whole time. So suffice as to say I’m not going to be posting a bunch of dreary pictures of me in my black coat. It’s terribly boring and also I forgot my straightening iron and the fog did something awful and frizzy-making to my hair so don’t even ask. But those are the only negatives I can come up for the whole trip. Even the drive was unbelievably smooth and fast (with me driving that is).
When I mentally compare this trip with our last trip there*, it’s like night and day. Maybe I’m different now (ie no longer a post partum neurotic mess?) or the fact that we weren’t held captive to a jam packed wedding schedule weekend that included Ben being in the wedding, plus the obvious factor of traveling with a toddler now rather than a baby. I don’t know what it was exactly but that trip sucked and this trip was awesome.
We saw tons of art, ate delicious food and had amazing cocktails (what? I was driving ok?) and basically had a lot of fun. It wasn’t exactly the same as previous sans child trips have been but it was more fun that I could have imagined. Nate was delightfully well behaved and just generally good to go for whatever we wanted to do. The shopping thing didn’t happen sadly, but everything else we wanted to do did and we managed to see all our friends who immediately fell head over heels in love (although declined to keep him for the day so Ben and I could run off like a bunch of teenagers and go see Wolverine. Hey it doesn’t hurt to ask, ok?) Anyway, the whole experience makes me think this whole “traveling with child” thing is not just doable but possible fun. Dare I say that? (Oh jinxes please ignore that last one).
So I’m thinking New York this fall/winter. And yes, the shopping WILL happen.
*I just re-read that post and whoa did I leave out a lot of stuff from that trip. Because basically it sucked and Ben and I got in a huge fight the last morning there that started with me saying “I am SO over this trip, we’re leaving right now.” But I guess that would have made for a really wanky post so probably that’s why I just summed it all up with “Glad to be back”, which is apparently code for “That was the trip from hell”.
Thursday, April 30th, 2009
Well I should be packing right now since we’re leaving for San Francisco at the very early and not terribly bright (or reasonable) hour of 6AM tomorrow but why pack when you can procrastinate? I do my best work late at night when all semblance of coherency and fashion logic has left me long ago, which generally results in some dire wardrobe options. Usually to the tune of LACK OF WARM CLOTHING. Why do I always think everywhere is as warm as Los Angeles? Especially since I’m cold all the time here anyway unless it’s damn heatwave? You’d think one of these days I’d learn my lesson and figure out how to pack decently. Of course no. And that always means an impromptu shopping trip during the visit! Cuz I’m fweezing, oh what a poor baby. I know it’s a strange way but try as I might, I can’t seem to break from this pattern.
Two (ridiculous) things I pondered last night while I was also not packing:
1. Do they ever find a monster on MonsterQuest? Or anything that’s even close to a monster? Or anyone that’s actually seen the damn monster that doesn’t also appear to have been dropped on their head as a small child or had a lobotomy? No? Ok just checking. Their tag-line should be “Never found it, never will. Tune in next week when we don’t find anything AGAIN!”
Why do I continue to be drawn into this ridiculous hoax?
2. Has Bobby Flay ever won a Smackdown? Ever? I have not seen this happen once and I’m embarrassed to admit how many shows I’ve seen, I mean while the t.v. just happened to be “on” and I was wandering by in the middle of doing something “important”. Seriously, I think at this point he would lose to the taco truck that parks in front of my mechanic. I practically feel bad for him except he’s always laughing like a smug jerk at the end and I’d probably laugh too if I got to keep making a stupid show in which I lose every time and STILL GOT PAID.
Monday, April 27th, 2009
Update - Skiplovey is not technically inclined!
Oh wait, you all knew that already didn’t you?
So apparently I disabled comments accidentally and I have no idea what I did but I’m in the middle of fixing it and thank you thank you to all of you who emailed me about it and if I wasn’t such a moron I’d check my email more frequently instead of just wondering why no one wants to comment on my ridiculous ramblings anymore.
What the hell, I start clicking around and the next thing you know, broken! I should not be allowed out of my playpen anymore, honestly I am just too dangerous around these keyboardy/mouse-type things. Just start calling me Bam Bam from now on.
REAL ACTUAL UPDATE - seriously it is just painful being this lame. Ok I think the comments thing is now fixed. kindly put me out of my misery if it is not.
I think there’s a cure for such stupidity and I think it’s called Gin and Tonic.
Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009
As a young person, whenever I’d hear someone say “Youth is wasted on the youth” I’d always think whoever was saying that was an old jerk. Now I’m the jerk. But seriously, they haven’t a clue. Am I wrong here?
I remembered this morning why i don’t like revisiting to the music of my youth, youth as in snotty teenage through post college intellectual baloney years.
1) It reminds me of how terribly important I thought all that music was at the time and how totally unimportant it seems now. I think I like the idea of nostalgia better than actual nostalgia, especially when the thing that you’re idealizing wasn’t that cool to begin with.
2) How f-ing old is it to still be listening to your old music I ask you? I mean it’s one thing if you’re twenty and discovering Minor Threat for the first time but really, if I never heard The Smiths again for my entire life, I really could die a happy death. I especially want to sue Morrissey for making years 12 -15 such a moping, annoying time in my life.
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ZZZZZZ I drank too much coffee and have hyperstimulated my overactive thought/ponder machine AAAAAAAHHHH
If you even say the words “itch”, “scratch”, “Poison Oak/Ivy” and “Rash” to me you will freak me out into a raving, scratching, fetal position-lying tizzy. Don’t even do it, especially when we’re out to dinner. This hypochondriac can’t take it ok?
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This recession/end of the financial world as we know it is bumming me out in a serious fashion and seriously, I think we can be done with it now, ok? It’s one thing to be all frugal minded during the winter when you can don a boring sweater and classic coat from the closet but when it comes to summer wear, come on now, I need to replenish ok? Shorts and summer dresses only have so much life in them, they really can’t do more than two years worth, three max if it’s great quality fabric. I do not have great quality fabric summer clothes, people. I have one season wear only and it’s just about expired.
Financial gods, please hear my shallow prayer: I know people are losing the businesses and homes and all that so could you please fix this colossal mess we’re in? Thank you. Also, I’d like to shopping again someday (soonish).
Your Friend
Skiplovey
Thursday, April 16th, 2009
I was going to do this whole post about all the things I’d rather be spending my tax refund on like an utterly frivolous trip to Jamaica INSTEAD of paying off huge, stupid, hideously boring medical bills but in light of the recent terrible tragedies it just seemed wrong. My lust for all things new and shiny or sunny and rummy is on hold while I very gratefully thank god for all the things that go right with my life.
So instead of waxing rhapsodic about jet set getaways, I give you Skiplovey’s somewhat cynical guide to Acupuncture. I know, total bait and switch.
For those of you not keeping totally on track with my ridiculously long and mildly dramatic story, backstory here and here. Everyone else, let’s go…
My first visit-
The Acupuncturist is a tiny (at least two inches shorter than me which really is quite UNDER TALL) adorable asian lady who’s young and hugely pregnant. Good sign on the preggo-ness IMO, she obv practices what she er.. cures but a little weird that she’s so young. Don’t you have to be doing this for decades and stuff? Feeling mildly nervous at this point and examining her credentials for authenticity. And dates.
She spends the whole hour asking me very detailed questions my medical history, family history, any traumatic events in my life both physical and mental. I wasn’t sure whether flunking algebra counted on not, I left that out. I talk for a long time while she says a lot of hmms and ohhs while typing it into a computer. She’s also kinda spunky and we spend a couple of minutes dissing my old doctor. I decide I like her but am still nervous about her actually y’know administering needles. She asks me a gazillion questions about my diet. I tell her I’m pretty darn healthy which is mostly true. I kinda edited out some of the sugar and stuff and exaggerated just a tad on the vegetables. Here’s the thing that makes me feel a little cynical about this stuff, I think people put way too much emphasis on what you eat. People have survived for eons on very limited diets and they did fine. Now that we, in general, can eat a nearly perfect diet, it seems like that’s the first thing that’s mentioned as possible cause for anything really. To me, it’s a pretty squishy science, you can’t prove that the diet does or does not do something so it’s easy to point a finger at it. And also, I eat really healthy so please do not say that it’s my diet that causes me problems, it makes me want to cry. And also smack you on the head. Wow, it didn’t realize I felt so strongly about that. Ok moving right along…
Then she looks at my tongue which is supposed to reveal something about the way your body is digesting or absorbing or something I can’t really remember. Anyway I was really glad that I remembered to brush my teeth right before the appointment. Could she somehow know I had a slice of cheese and a handful of mints for lunch? See, what did I tell you, I am the picture of health.
Next she checks my pulse and then my temperature at various points on my body. And as usual, I am asked if my hands are always ice cold (yes) and informed that I have poor circulation. No kidding? We discuss this poor circulation for awhile and she schedules an acupuncture appt for the next day. I leave feeling a little dubious about this whole thing and wondering when the my normal doctor is going to call with my blood test results. Blood tests that have left three gigantic bruises around my elbow and inner arm. The acupuncturist wonders if I am anemic. I wonder if I am crazy.
Second visit, actual acupuncture:
My normal doctor has called with my blood test results which show that everything is normal so theoretically things should be working fine. In theory. Should be. Hmmm. I tell this to the acupuncturist and she notes down my results in her ever present laptop then starts prodding me and asking me if certain things hurt. Actually my entire right arm + shoulder is so damn sore from the blood tests and ergonomically unfriendly usage of laptop (sprawled across the couch) that every prod on the right side elicits an “ow”. She then dots a little row of small pins across my legs, arms and feet, a few on my stomach and I think one on my forehead (not sure, I had my eyes closed). It doesn’t hurt, just a mild brief jolt like someone pinched you. She turns on the heat lamps, cranks the soothing sounds of indian tabla from an ipod, shuts off the light and disappears for about half an hour. For a minute I feel like I’m having such a stereotypical Los Angeles moment, something weird and vaguely new-age-y but then I forget that it and fall asleep. I dream that I’m floating on a tiny boat and the sun is burning my foot. I wake up when one of the heat lamps turn off and realize it’s the lamp that was burning me. She returns, pulls all the pins out, hands me a packet of herbs with the instruction of “twice a day between meals”. I leave feeling weirdly relaxed but still slightly dubious. Am mentally deducting money from my checking account with the memo “Skip’s crazy follies, again.”
I go home and take dose 1 of the herbs. They taste like dirt with a hint of cinnamon. No really, I ate dirt when I was a little kid so I know what it tastes like. Dirt tastes like chinese herbs. No kidding.
A couple of days go by. The vague stomach aches I’ve had for the last four months goes away. Maybe it’s because I’ve also lost the snacking urge that has persisted well beyond it’s original purpose. Or maybe it’s because I’m also drinking more water, as urged by the acupuncturist. Plus the herbs make you thirsty. And did I mention that they taste bad? Anyway, my stomach starts to feel better and I’ve lose two pounds. I consider trying on super skinny jeans that haven’t fit since October, decide to wait another pound or two.
Couple more days pass. Oh joyous day, an indication that all things are back to normal. I relate the news to Ben who says “So maybe if you would have just waited, like your old doctor said to do, things would have gone back to normal anyway.” I tell him to shove it. Man, you all thought I was cynical?
Visit #3:
Again with the pulse and temperature. I tell her that everything seems back to normal and she notes it down, tells me I can be on “maintenance” + herbs which means an appt every two weeks. I muse over whether I will return while she prods me again. The right arm, shoulder, elbow pain is much better than last week. She doles out the pins but less than before. The week the music is vaguely Asian Muzak. I dream of mai tais and delux thatched bungalows with ocean views. More herbs this week, different mix. This one is more like dirt minus the cinnamon. I drink more water. Three more pounds disappear. I am back to my normal weight, the same since I was in high school. Ben heralds the return of Skinny Skip. Maybe it’s purely psychological but I feel like I have more energy and less blahs. Also, I’m sure it’s the gallons of water I’ve been drinking but my skin is looking rather glow-y. I make another appt for next week.
So now everything is back to normal and Ben and I are back in the game, so to speak. Honestly I have no idea what helped, if anything. Maybe the acupuncture did something or maybe if I would have waited things would have fixed themselves anyway. I mean definitely it could be the psychological factor of “I’m spending money on something so therefore it must be working” and you’re actually convincing yourself that you feel better. Gah, it’s so nebulous and weird. Did I ever mention that I’m rather found of empirical results? But the facts are the facts, come to your own conclusion. My immediate problem is solved and I feel, actually, rather fantastic which I haven’t for quite awhile.
And seriously, it feels a little fabulous and decadent to say “My Acupuncturist”. Now all I need is a publicist.
Tuesday, April 7th, 2009
Ok I’m not even going to say pardon my absence anymore because, really, it’s just bordering on ridiculousness at this point. But I do have many posts all lined up (in my head) to relate the exciting existence I’ve been leading lately (ha, snort) except for I’m right in the middle of stupid bloggy tech stuff.
Anybody know how to export posts PLUS photos from one wordpress blog to another? Cuz I am far too lazy to move pictures individually. Anyone, anyone? In an effort to be more cost conscious I’m considering ditching this blog for a freeeee one but two things are holding me back.
1. Photos. Please tell me there is an easy fix for transferring them, PLEASE.
2. Ohmygod the free themes are ugly. Really ugly. I’m not saying this theme is to die for or anything but I’ve been looking at it so long, I’m kinda…. used to it now and feeling ever so sentimental. I’m sure this is a stupid (and lazy) question but for any wordpress genius out there, can I keep the same theme even though I’m moving from hosting my own site to wordpress hosted site? Yes I really am that un-techie.
Ok thanks, get to work genius people and solve my problems!