Thursday, July 3rd, 2008
My husband was born breach, as in booty first. He claims he’s done everything ass backwards ever since. The way he writes is backwards, bottom of the letter to top rather than top to bottom. He thinks through problems in a backwards sort of way too, which is frustrating as all hell for me but often times lends a very unique perspective. I’m sure it’s the life flipped upside down way of looking at things that make him such a great artist. Someone who can follow ikea instructions? Forgeddaboutit.
Apparently this backwards thing is genetic. An example, that whole “walking and talking” thing that’s associated with toddlers? The order is merely a suggestion as far as Nate sees it. For a 13 1/2 month old, conversationally he’s surprising the heck out of us. Every other day he’s got a new word. And sentences. The child is talking in sentences already. Two and three word sentences but still, kinda crazy right?
I really thought, well to be honest, I expected that Nate was going to be more like his cousin who didn’t say more than a peep until he was two, then had a veritable talking explosion. This is my parenting philosophy so far, have very low expectations so when they do anything remotely on time, correct, pleasing, what-have-you, that you’re so freakin’ thrilled. To have Nate tell me “No no no waffle. Stwawbewwy! Stwawbewwy” or “Sank you, wead!” (he’s a little confused on the thank you thing, he’ll say it while handing you something) at this somewhat early point, my god what a total bonus.
Another freaky, are-you-really-my-child-or-a-Martian-in-babies-clothing collecting-data and-sending-back-to-outer-space moment happened yesterday. Inspired by this post by Burgh Baby I thought I’d humor myself with a little “one on one” with the reluctant toddler.
Me: Nate, it makes mommy sad when you throw your peach on the floor. I really wish you’d -
Nate: Happy! (tossing food over the side of the tray looking at me and smiling.) Un! (all done)
Me: (incredulous look) No Nate, it makes mommy sad (sad face) when you -
Nate: Happy! Happy! Sighhhh! (as in “Outside, woman who picks up my food. Outside I command!”)
Um. He can’t possibly know what happy means, right? I mean he just heard me or Ben say it the other day and starting parroting it. Seriously, he’s not even 14 months old. Is this a coincidence or is he totally messing with me?
Anyway, the walking part? Hilariously for such a big talker he’s not walking the walk. Oh he’ll say he wants to walk, in fact his favorite thing the last few days is to say “Walking!” What “walking” means is he wants to walk while holding onto your finger. Well twisting your finger in many painful positions to be correct. So yeah, he’s walking-ish. He’s just not ready to let go yet. He’ll walk all over the house holding on to the furniture or walls or someone’s hand. He’s actually taken many, many steps on his own but for some reason he’s still reluctant to go all out with it.
Deep down I kinda thought he’d be more like me in this department, physically more adventurous. My mom informs me that I started crawling at six months and walking at nine months. And then crawling out the window at a year and a half. Their fault for leaving it open, says I. Ben started walking at 14 months. I’m guessing Nate’s more like Daddy than Mommy in this regard.
Either way and whatever his speed, we’re definitely having some fun times over here.
Tuesday, July 1st, 2008
Christina at Rockin’ the Suburbs tagged me for another meme. Lordy I cannot resist the meme. But I ask you this, why is it I always get tagged for the quirky memes? Do you all think I’m terribly quirky or something?
Note to self: Stop being so damn quirky.
Note to self: Stop noting things so much. You don’t have a tape recorder and people are starting to stare when you talk into an empty hand.
Anyway,
The Rules:
- Link the person who tagged you
- Mention the rules on your blog
- Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
- Tag 6 fellow bloggers by linking them
- Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged
1. My grocery list is organized by the route I walk through the store, which is always exactly same. Produce first, then the deli, dairy, canned items ect. This is so unbelievably boring to reveal to you all but it’s actually very efficient. Frozen section last my friends because it’s the most perishable. Evil Knievel I am not, although we do share the same birthday.
2. My family has a tendency towards long, drawn out goodbyes. A typical goodbye usually involves a half a dozen “I love you’s”, a couple of “take care’s”, reiterating multiple times the date of the next conversation “I’ll call you tomorrow, yes we’ll talk again tomorrow”, throwing in one more point about the previous conversation “Y’know I’m sure the groundhogs will stop eating your tomatoes now that you’ve planted stink bombs all throughout the yard” and finally yelling “I love you’s” at the receiver as you hang up the phone.
3. Lately I’ve developed this probably totally annoying habit of repeating everything Nate says, like I’m the toddler now or something. I started doing it to positively affirm to him that he had indeed said a word and I’d repeat it encouragingly with the correct pronunciation, “Bird, yes biiiiirddd! Good boy”. But lately I find myself just repeating every damn thing he says like a parrot. I know that it’s a strange, bad habit now after spending time with Ben’s family this last weekend. I’d refrain from repeating his words, but I had a weird compulsion still to say it. Brain. slowly. turning. to. toddler. mush.
4. My getting ready for bed habit involves: checking that all exterior doors are locked and the stove and toaster are turned off, removing all the decorative pillows from our bed except the one that goes behind my pillow, covering up my alarm clock because the light is so incredibly bright but I won’t just remove the clock completely because if I wake up in the middle of the night I like to know what time it is, closing the bathroom door almost closed but not completely in case Ben opens the door (he’s the night owl) it won’t make a sound and wake me up, closing the bedroom door 6/8 of the way closed so the light from the living is just a slant but ditto on Ben opening that door and the last thing I do before I turn in to bed is put in my ear plugs. I’m kinda of a light sleeper. Ben’s ritual for going to bed? Closing his eyes. The man could fall asleep anywhere, any time, any which way. This makes me a little envious.
5. It is physically impossible to leave mayonnaise out of the fridge for more than twenty minutes. I get all antsy thinking about how it’s going bad. If I’m at your house, I’ll put it away for you. If I’m too polite to put it away for you and I think it has been out for awhile? I’ll forgo the creamy deliciousness of it. What do I do when we host a barbecue you ask? The mayo and other condiments go into an iced bucket. Yes blame my neurotic upbringing.
6. This neurotic upbringing also includes very elaborate rules on how long food can remain on the table and the fridge life of leftovers. Anything involving fish, the table rule is an hour max. The fridge rule is one day. Meat and poultry get roughly an hour and a half max, three days in the fridge. Dairy items, like fish, an hour on the table, two days in the fridge. Strangely I am much more lenient with vegetables. Except tomatoes which seem to go bad in like an hour. Can you tell I’m not an ideal candidate for camping?
So there you have it. 6 gems from Quirky McGee. I’m going to wimp out on tagging anyone in particular. If you’re feeling the meme, feel free.
Friday, June 27th, 2008
Have you seen those really annoying commercials, I think they’re selling insurance, the ones where some hip guy is getting married (but wearing converse sneakers cuz he’s too cool) and talking about not being able to keep his futon or the hyperactive chick is asking everyone she sees about insurance deductibles. And they all say “You know that place where blah blah blah (I’m paraphrasing) people find themselves in a crazy, chaotic but recognizable place? Yeah, (dramatic pause) I’m there.” Did I mention that these foolios are all standing on a little red circle, as if you didn’t get the subtle message that they’re in the hot spot already. Every time one of those stupid commercials comes on I roll my eyes. Well practically every time, they’re on a lot.
But the last week or so I’m finding myself thinking (insert your own snazzy, hip marketing line about juggling family and career), yeah I’m there. No I don’t need new insurance. Things are going great, don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining (not really) but the work/life balance is getting to a point where I really need help. My freelance to-do list is a mile long, the house is an neat freak’s nightmare and Nate keeps crawling to me while I’m at the computer commanding me “Up, up, up”.
Clearly what is all boils down to is that I need to get my life together find a babysitter for Nate a couple days a week. Until now it’s kinda worked out having Ben’s mom watch him for an afternoon once or twice a week and scrambling during nap time on the other days to crank out the work. Except when the afternoon once or twice a week doesn’t actually happen or if his naps are less then I’d like them to be which frankly speaking is everyday, then the situation gets out of hand. Last week threw me a curve ball with the family in town and house guests. Work just doesn’t get the hint that you’re trying to have a good time, it keeps acting like a wet blanket all “Hey remember me? What about me? The one that pays you, huh? Oh you remember now don’t you.”
So yeah that really needs to happen, like now. I know it’s not the answer to all my problems. If only, geez. My boss is still going to try to book me for freelance assignments with barely any notice to come into the office. I don’t know if I can do anything about that but damn it I can pay someone to watch Nate so I have a few hours twice a week to get my freelance work at home done, where no one will wake up after one lousy hour and demand “peesh” (peach).
A complete aside here, but has anyone seen “Curse of the Golden Flower” with Chow Yun Fat and Gong Li? I really wanted to see it when it came out in the theater last year but of course we never made it out. I finally remembered to put it in the queue. We watched it over the course of two nights and all I can say is this movie is soooo not what I thought it would be. I won’t spoil* anything for you but it is decidedly un-epic if you ask me. House of Flying Daggers this movie is not. You’d think I’d learn this stuff by now. I saw Shanghai Triad awhile back and I thought the same thing - totally freakin’ un-epic. And by un-epic I’d put Lord of the Rings as a ten on the epic scale. Curse of the Golden Flower - un-epic.
Anyway I don’t really know where all this rambling is going and I’m trying to think of some witty wrap up.
And nothing.
Ok well that’s that. No I guess what I’ve been thinking is that getting a babysitter to help me out for a few days a week will bring in some very badly needed structure and a schedule to this flim flam place I’ve been in lately. Work can be done during scheduled work times (good god what a concept) instead of just here, there and everywhere. Work is here now on a permanent basis so I’ve really got to make some room for it. Which is no big deal, I’m happy to do it. Must stop procrastinating about it because this crazy making routine is driving me … well y’know, bonkers?
Yep, ending on bonkers. Hoo boy, looking up listings right now people.
*Major spoiler right here. Everyone dies at the end except Chow Yun Fat. How’s that for a spoiler?
Tuesday, June 24th, 2008
Le Random #1 - My mom sent me an email this morning informing me that it is approximately six months until Christmas. Lordy woman it is too early in the morning let alone too early in the summer to even comprehend these things. Maybe this is her way of saying “Dibs on you guys for Christmas, don’t even think about taking our grandson anywhere but our house.” For a confused second I thought about egg nog but it’s hard to be feeling it when you’re wearing shorts and t-shirt.
Le Random #2 - How’s this for motivation, I mentioned earlier that Nate hasn’t been loving the gym lately. Well he’s been tolerating it to varying degrees the last week and a half. One day he might last the whole hour, the next day I might be summoned by the childcare gal. The whole exciting russian roulete-ness of it is that you have no idea when it will happen. At any point she could descend down the staircase and give me the look, the come here now your child is bawling his head off look. Nothing puts a little hustle in your bustle like the fact that your workout could be cut short at any second.
The past week has been an absolute blur, what with all the family visiting and then out of town guests. To top it off Nate and I went to visit my parents last weekend in an effort to avoid the 106,000 degree heat here. It was slightly cooler there, only 98,000 degrees. It actually made a huge difference for me, kinda like the difference between Bruce Banner and Hulk. Plus there were a variety of pools for us to visit, much food (free!) to be consumed and Grandparents vying for Nate time. Win-win all around.
But never mind all that, I have important questions for you all. Big things have happened this last week. Ben’s younger brother just got engaged, yay! I absolutely adore his fiancée, she is super fantastic. Also totally adorable. Do I love her because she is shorter than I am therefore taking my former place as shortest in the family? Maybe but also a million other reasons and yay yay yay they are getting married! Anyway I want to get them a cool engagement gift but am short (guffaw guffaw) on ideas. We only received one engagement gift when we got engaged and it was a lame pair of toasting glasses. Anyone have a favorite thing they received as a gift or wish they received as a gift?
And while I’m at it, oh internet world that has always helped me so, one of my girlfriends just gave birth last week and I promised I’d bring her some fresh, delicious food. For some reason that alludes me now I never really took up my friends’ offers to bring over food after Nate was born. It probably had something to do with me being a complete idiot at the time and not wanting anyone to view our messy house while I was recuperating. Man those hormones make you nuts, huh? I look back now and I can’t believe I’d turn down fresh, hot food that didn’t come out of a Trader Joe’s package. Gah! Pero anyways, any tried and true recipes that are great to put in the fridge or freezer that is super delicious for the new mommy? The only thing I vaguely remember enjoying from my own pre-made reserve was enchiladas.
So to sum up, please advise on one engagement gift for a super awesome couple and a yummy recipe to bring to a new mom. Ok you’ve got your orders, get cracking. Or clicking. Or whatever it is you crafty people do.
Thursday, June 19th, 2008
Well it’s been a couple of months since I bought a carton of ice cream. First I wasn’t any buying because I felt like Ben and I didn’t need any ice cream. Then, after coming to my senses, I started buying those ice cream bars that were on sale because they were cheaper than a carton, although the price per ounce was still higher. Sometimes I’m just bottom line stubborn that way. Costco and I have an on again off again relationship, you know it’s cheaper in the long run but you just doesn’t want to fork over all that money at the time.
Anyway I finally bought a carton of ice cream the other day, Mint Chip, which is my favorite, not the Peanut Butter cup which is Ben’s favorite because I actually intended to eat a good portion of said ice cream. Later that night as Ben was dishing it out, the ice cream not the praise for finally buying some, I said to Ben, “Hey does that carton look smaller or what?”
Look I understand that when you’re a kid everything seems monstrously huge but we’ve bought many a carton of ice cream over the recent years so I’m damn familiar with ice cream cartons. And it looked puny, conspicuously like a slightly bigger Ben and Jerry’s. Ben said he didn’t notice any difference.
I freakin’ googled that shiznit the next morning and you know what? I’m not crazy, Breyer’s, Dreyer’s and Edy’s have all shrunk their carton size. And you know what else? Yeah, same price. And that’s not all. Tons of products are getting the shrink machine.
Now I’m not going to get all anti-market-y or anything. I understand the cost of ingredients, manufacturing, packaging goes up and blah blah blah but here’s what chafes me. Let me know that the price is going up. Don’t be all sneaky about it by cutting a few ounces out, trimming out a few sheets or holding out a few chips on me. Just keep my stuff the same size and raise the damn price. Is this too much to ask?
Clearly there’ s more important issues in the world right now, I fully recognize that. But seriously, in hard times I need that entire half gallon of ice cream ok? Not 1.5 quarts. Ben requires large portions so by the time I get to it there’s barely a half a cup left. LAME! And don’t tell me buy two cartons, it won’t fit in my rinky dink freezer.
Gah! And with National Ice Cream month approaching… sigh. I might have to start buying the store brand.
*Shudder*
Monday, June 16th, 2008
No I didn’t fall off the face the earth. No I didn’t join the neighborhood gang. I’m pulling out my crazy/busy note and handing that it.
Last week I was finishing up the final revisions on a freelance project that right now as I speak, er type is playing at the Sydney Biennial. Yay! Except it doesn’t have my name on it, it has the artist’s name. I’m just the lowly editor the translates the vision (”here take this photo and animate it”) into reality. That reality is a few last minutes changes (i.e. completely changing the project) only meant to “just take a few hours” but really means inevitably starting on a Friday ensuring that I’ll work through the weekend right on up until Thursday morning. Thus giving me just a day and a half to get ready for the the in-law’s 40th anniversary, Ben’s birthday and Father’s Day.
Me last thursday = crazy chicken minus head.
For the celebrations the whole family including out of towners and wayward sons went to the beach to celebrate. Cue sand, sun, various cold ailments from Nate, many missed naps, surprisingly few bouts of crying, a chorus of surprised relatives that children aged one still needed to nap or have any kind of decent bedtime. Yes in the rational brain one would think that if a kid went to bed late he might actually sleep in later. In somebody else’s world maybe but not mine, my friend. The later Nate goes to bed the earlier he’ll wake up. Also, GRUMPY. So in the interest of avoiding a complete meltdown Saturday night and a super grumpy chumper the next day I sacrificed dinner at the Crab Cooker to stay in at the hotel with Nate. I’m still a little bitter about it. I mean seriously, nine o’ clock dinner? WTF?
Anyway we’re back and somehow by the grace of god and copious amounts of sunscreen I’m not the one nursing a serious sunburn this time. Ben aka Lobster Boy, however is rocking the lidocaine like it’s some other kind of caine.
Nate had a great time at the beach. So in his element, namely sand! water! and plenty of attention from lots of people. The salt air must have been particularly stimulating to the brain because in one day he learned how to say draw, crayon, thank you (!!! is that totally crazy or what???), both his cousin’s names and pool. Not to be confused with another p - o word that he’s learned recently and correctly. Our pool time was cut short with an announcement (”quick! out of the water!” He had on a swim diaper but really, those things are so thin I don’t quite trust them) that never actually came to fruition.
By the way, um.. isn’t this completely insane? Last week he’s started telling us whenever he’s about to well, you know, do the business. Also, ew can’t believe I’m actually typing about that so damn early on a monday morning. Need more caffeine please!
Sorry about that, hope you weren’t eating anything.
So yeah, we’re back. There’s a mountain of dirty laundry conspiring against me in the laundry closet and I have to get us ready because there’s a niece and nephew over at Grandma’s house that is demanding more Nate. They’re here all week. So I’m assuming Nate will be reciting limericks by the time they leave.
Where my party people at?
Tuesday, June 10th, 2008
- A helicopter circling directly overhead for two hours.
- 9 cop cars plus the K9 unit staked out down the block.
- Hearing over a bullhorn, “Surrender now and we won’t release the dogs. You have one minute to comply.”
I think all the commotion was two streets up from us but the end of our block became some kind of basecamp because they were, no joke, nine cop cars at the end of our street. Our block, btw, is 8 houses long so that’s a lot of cars for a little block. The lights, the action, oh it was so ghetto fabulous!
You didn’t believe me when I said I lived in the ‘hood did you?
Pero anyways, the hullabaloo finally ended around 10:30. I have no idea if anyone surrendered, if they released the dogs or if anyone was arrested. That’s the craziest part about all this, you never find out what really happened. Eventually the cars left, the helicopter finally buzzed off and you’re left wondering “what the hell was that all about?”
Ben thinks high speed chase but I’ve got my money on a shooting.
And yes, we have been thinking about moving. The past five years since we’ve lived here there’s been some fairly “exciting” stuff happen in our neighborhood but it’s never been this close to us and it’s never come up our hill. This is a wee bit close for comfort.
The hilarious part of this story? Nate slept through the whole thing.
“What’s that? Another helicopter overhead? Yawn, boring, back to sleep.”
Friday, June 6th, 2008
Ok since I casually mentioned it in my last post, I figure I ought to perhaps say a little something on the subject of Nate speaking. But I’m a tad superstitious* (like hugely, colossally, gigantically) so I’m worried that if I write about it then something bad will happen. Like what, you say? I don’t know exactly but maybe Nate will decide he’s tired of talking and not say another thing until he’s four. Or an anvil could suddenly drop from the sky and land on my head, a swarm of locusts could attack my house, it’s hard to say what it will be when it comes to the evil eye. I know, I know, step away from the dark ages Skip. I’m telling you though, the last time I even mentioned Nate sleeping through the night, hoo boy out the window that went.
Despite that, (knock on wood, salt over the shoulder) here’s a sampling of some of the more choice conversations Nate and I have been sharing of late:
Scene: Baby/Toddler’s/he’s not quite walking yet so is he still a baby but he’s starting to lose all that delicious baby chub and really looking like a little boy oh dear god woman get a grip already bedroom, 5:45am. Parent’s enter from doorway, groggily.
Parents: Good Morning sunshine.
Nate standing up in crib, grumpily: Up!
Father leans over and picks up child.
Nate, leaning towards dresser and pointing at small matchbox style automobile: Cah!
Mother picks up car and hands to child.
Nate, grumpily: Milk!
*
Scene, outdoor parking lot. A mother is belting her young child into his car seat.
Mother, lovingly: Where’s my smiles Nate? You haven’t smiled all afternoon. Does Mommy get a smile?
Nate, grumpily: No! More Dada!
Alrighty then. Attitude from a pint sized shrimp is only funnier when he sounds like an extra from the Chipmunks Movie.
Ok I better stop, I’ve already said too much. Cue the storm clouds that will deliver torrential rain in a tiny cloud positioned only over my head, even indoors, where I will slip on a puddle, fall forward breaking both my hands so that I may never type again. And the internet gods will finally be satisfied.
*As soon as I hit publish I starting feeling all antsy/nervous that I is was sounding braggy. Not trying to be braggy at all. He’s not even walking yet and he just barely started clapping his hands together two weeks ago and finally he couldn’t identify Elmo if his life depended on it so clearly just an average child. Sigh. Obviously I was not meant to be any kind of stage mom.
Wednesday, June 4th, 2008
Reasons why Nate the Great is Nate the Grump lately:
Wallop #1 - Nap transitioning. Sigh. What else can I say aside from, this sucks. We’re going on three weeks of the “transition” aka pain in my a**. When Nate started resisting the morning nap or refusing the afternoon nap my plan was to keep trying with the two naps and hold out as long as I could. Well that plan lasted about a week. He’d take the morning nap but then refuse the afternoon nap. Which would be ok except he was a total pill during the afternoon, would fall asleep during dinner, find a second wind around bath time which extended well beyond his normal bed time, chatting to himself in the crib or sometimes crying bloody murder before finally falling asleep an hour past his normal bedtime. Then he’d wake up at 5am and grumpily demand “muhk” (translated into English is a cold cup of milk in a sippy cup with the handles please and thank you). Grumpiness would then be the theme of the day, both him and me.
So I said a sad farewell to the two naps and am trying to like/love the one nap. Except right now it’s weighing in at a paltry hour and a half maybe two hours and I’d like to go back to my three hours of free time that I had with the two naps. I’m super behind on my freelance work, google reader is nagging me with the tons of unread posts and my house, well it’s not loving me either right now. Did I mention I have dinner guests coming over tonight?
Wallop #2. Front teeth. Finally. I think Nate has the slowest moving teeth known to babies. He just now getting his two top teeth. He got the bottom two six months ago. I told Ben last night that at this rate he’ll be five by the time he gets a full set. And then they’ll all fall out. So that’s also causing major grump syndrome right now. At least I think it’s the teething thing, it could also be:
Wallop #3. Separation anxiety? I’m guessing on this one but lately he’s in tears at the drop of hat, constantly crawling to Ben or I and demanding “Up”. As soon as I set him down to play with something he’s in tears again. For the first time ever the nursery gal at the gym had to come get me because the little mister wouldn’t stop crying. The is the same child who just two weeks ago didn’t want to leave the super fun times of the daycare room. This happened twice this week. He’s not as interested in playing by himself the last week or two which is something normally he likes to do. Now when I leave the room he starts crying or follows me. Mr. Independent no more.
My best guess is that he’s on the verge of something; walking, more talking, teething, growing in painful spurts? I don’t know exactly but he was a little like this right before he started crawling. Total whiney butt for about a week then voila, crawling. I’m hoping the same is true this time and he’ll get over whatever it is he’s working on right now and cool it with the all tears all the time. Geez this whole sensitive business is new to me, he’s always been such a chill little dude.
I should add that he’s definitely making some very rapid progress on this whole talking business, more on that later, but I would imagine that’s got to be very confusing and mentally stimulating. Just in the last two weeks he’s got all these new expressions and games he likes to play, funny little faces he makes, all this crazy stuff that he’s doing now, it’s just wild. And I guess very draining on the little man temperament.
Thank god for this:
And this,
Monday, June 2nd, 2008
This time it’s Ben’s fault. Really and truly. Ben’s never ending quest for organization. Well organize up a big ole wad of cash cuz I’m going to need it.
It all started with us packing up stuff we wanted to put in deep storage. It ended with me, possibly in a hormone induced mania, pulling a Stacy and Clinton by tossing out (aka neatly folding and bagging for the salvation army) half of my clothes.
Ben and I gave everything in my closet the critical eye and nearly everything failed to pass muster. Looking over all my clothes in a WNTW way made me wonder if it’s possible that I was drunk each and every time I went shopping. Nothing matches, everything fits bad or it’s really old or it’s really old and fits bad. Arghg hate hate hate toss toss toss. If it didn’t totally love it, into the pile. My closet is very organized now, and practically empty.
Someone please stop me from shopping exclusively from the sale rack? Hello, my name is Skiplovey and I’m a clearance sale junkie that has seen the light.
(Cue uplifting music and money falling from the sky)
I’ll be honest with you, I’m not a great shopper. It’s never has been my strong point, I’m just not very good at the “whole picture” thing. And I’m sick of looking at a closet full of mistakes.
Spring cleaning right? Starting over fresh right? Seize the moment, um credit card?
Not that I have any money saved for a spur of the moment shopping spree. Not like Nate is the most patient co-shopper either. People I have clearly lost my mind. I’m going to end up wearing the same few outfits I have left over and over again until I break down and have to shop.
Seriously though,
This feels very liberating.